Riding the backdraft of the many high value tech based IPOs anticipated in 2019, a pair of Stanford dropouts (does anyone ever graduate from Stanford University anymore?) announced a new startup: “LOFFS”. This web based application which will any turn any spare space (an unfinished attic, the top bunk in your kid’s room, the backseat of your car parked in your driveway) into overnight visitor accommodation. “To be honest, it wasn’t rocket science. We were kicking around ideas over double espressos one day. You always hear that you should focus on what you know. At our age, the only thing we really know is how to sleep in strange places so we decided to monetize it. We think that there is a tremendous unserved down market segment out there that want the ease of renting a closet, an upper bunk or car backseat on their smartphone” said Sam L. Clare, the 20 year old co-founder of LOFFS. “According to Davis-Stephens Partners, the venture capitalists, we have all the right ingredients for success: an untapped market, no college debt, a weirdly spelled company name and a business plan that does not require the company to own or build anything other than accumulating a bunch of data in the cloud.” Co-founder G.K. Painter added: “This year will be a big year for us personally: we will launch our IPO and we will be old enough to legally buy beer and cannabis. The VC’s are telling us that the company will never make any money, but with an anticipated market cap of $15 billion, Sam and I will be able to retire as multi-millionaires by the time we are 23. It’s safe to say that our housing needs will be solved. Maybe that’s the answer to the State’s housing crisis: everyone should have their own IPO.”
William Abbott is an attorney and CMP (Chief Mandolin Player) at Abbott & Kindermann, Inc. For questions involving California land use, real estate, environmental and/or planning issues contact Diane Kindermann, Bill Abbott or Glen Hansen at (916) 456-9595.